Fab (strawberry)

Name: Fab

Manufacturer: Nestle UK
Official description: 'Real Strawberry and vanilla flavour ice lolly with chocolate flavour coating (5%) and sugar strands (5%)'








The Fab came recommended on a day when I was eating a rocket lolly. A few weeks later, I bought a box of them ready for the enjoyment.

What can I say, but I wasn't a fan of the Fab. Looking at the box, I expected some strawberry-vanilla-chocolate miracle, a rocket lolly with some balls, even. The description on the box wasn't exactly clear, but I had assumed it would be like an inside out Creamsicle or something.

Turns out the Fab is basically a thin plank of strawberry ice, and from about halfway up it's covered in this weird sickly sweet 'vanilla' stuff. It's not exactly a vanilla version of the strawberry part, and I'm getting a sweet headache just thinking about it. It's a sticky, gooey mess. Despite being frozen, it's very soft. It's sort of like a bad textured frosting.

To cap the Fab off, the tip of it is dipped in some 'chocolate'. As can be expected, this isn't the finest single-estate 75% stuff. It's some brown, vaguely chocolate flavoured stuff. It's a very thin shell of it, but combined with that weird 'vanilla' stuff, you can feel your teeth rotting out of your head.

Then, just when you think it's over, they've dipped that chocolate stuff into some sprinkles. The effect of this is more flavourless sugar, only with an unsettling crunch. The first bites have a sprinkle crunch on top of a chocolate weirdness, on top of a vanilla mush, on top of a strawberry ice. Weirdness.

I can see the concept of this being really good, and that it would be the most awesome thing ever when you're 5. Unfortunately, it doesn't work all that well when you're trying your first one at 30.


Overall rating (1-10, 10 being best): 2

Post-lolly stomach (1=actually made me sick; 10=fine): 4
Flavour: 3
Texture: 1